Two Very Different Scholars, One Extraordinary Relationship

Two Very Different Scholars, One Extraordinary Relationship

Becky and Elaina look a lot alike. So much so, they could pass for sisters. They even act like sisters – they have their "moments," but each is deeply committed to the other.

Yet under all the red hair and freckles are two very different girls with very different needs. And those differences have made for a supportive mentoring relationship that has allowed these two CFES Scholars to grow, academically and personally.

Becky, an eighth grader, is a teacher's dream – hard working and high achieving. She has not missed a day of school since she entered JoAnna Connell Elementary School last fall, when her family moved to Erie. Painfully shy, Becky said very little in those early months – that is, until she became Elaina's mentor.

Elaina, who is in fifth grade, gives her age as precisely 11 ½ ("I've been working on fractions in math"). Elaina was born in Erie and has attended Connell Elementary since kindergarten. Unlike Becky, Elaina is an extrovert – talkative, full of expression, and bursting with energy and enthusiasm. And it is this high level of energy, and her inability to control it, that has been an issue for her, both behaviorally and academically – that is, until Becky came along.

"Before Becky became her mentor, Elaina had not shown her true academic abilities," says teacher Fran Piazza. "Too much was getting in her way."

Elaina is more direct: "I used to have a bad temper before I had Becky as my mentor. I used to kick and scream and bang my head against the wall."

She attributed much of this behavior to a girl in her class who she said was bullying her.

As Elaina explains, "I would tell her, 'I am going to snitch on you if you don't leave me alone.'"

But that never worked because they'd both get into trouble.

"I don't want to get into any more trouble than I already have," Elaina declares firmly. "Now SHE now gets detention, not me. I don't react to her the way I used to. A lot has changed for me...I know that a big part of why is because I have Becky as my mentor."

Peer mentoring is a new experience for Becky, Elaina, and the 38 other CFES mentors and mentees at Connell Elementary. Through a grant from the GE Foundation, Connell is one of six elementary schools in Erie, Pennsylvania, that joined CFES last November in partnership with area colleges, including Mercyhurst, Penn State – Erie, and Gannon University.

As their relationship evolved, Elaina learned to trust Becky and to share her feelings and concerns.

"She will come talk to me," Becky says. "When things are not right, Elaina will tell me about it, and I will calm her down."

Elaina even began to pick up on Becky’s feelings.

"One day I was down," Becky says, "and she asked ME what was wrong."

When Elaina came to her about the bullying, Becky advised her to ignore the girl.

"I understand it has been going on for a while, but she now knows there are better ways to react," Becky says.

And that kind of peer support and guidance is exactly what Elaina needed.

"Since working with Becky, my grades have gone up," Elaina states. "Becky keeps me focused on math and reading, and she makes doing the work a lot more fun."

"I show her little tricks to make it easier," Becky points out.

The changes in Elaina – her ability to focus, her academic gains, and most important, her improved behavior – have not gone unnoticed. Her grades have climbed from C's into the B+/A- range and, as Piazza observes, "Elaina is becoming a leader and is no longer a follower."

Becky remarks on her mentee's growing sense of confidence, which has empowered Elaina to reach out to those around her.

"I am happier now that I have another person around to help me," Elaina agrees. "Becky explains things to me in different ways than the teacher does, and it is really helpful to me. She looks at things in a way I understand, and it just makes more sense to me."

That's the power of peer mentoring, as Becky so keenly observes. "Sometimes learning from someone around your own age can be helpful. We understand different things about each other.

"We have built our relationship up to the point of being able to trust each other," Becky continues. "She'll tell me about her problems and I'll calm her down."

While teachers help students to get the education they need, Becky notes that CFES is helping them learn the communication skills necessary to be successful in all aspects of life.

"Our parents are not always going to be there for us," she says. "CFES shows us how to do things for ourselves...it is helping us to be independent and to be leaders so that when we get to college, we will be able to move on with our lives and be the successful people that we are planning now to become."

Becky points to her own transformation from a shy person to one who is more open and independent, one who is ready to show others what she has learned and how it can help them. She credits mentoring and her relationship with Elaina for this change.

"Elaina has so much life energy...everything is more fun," Becky declares. "She gives me fun energy to go through each day."

Piazza remembers when Becky first came to Connell. "She was very, very shy and would hardly ever say anything. I picked her for the CFES Scholars Program because I could see what it could do for her. This program has caused her to blossom."

For Missy Wilkins, CFES Director of Mentoring, Becky and Elaina exemplify the essence of a good mentoring relationship.

"Becky and Elaina are a perfect example of how a mentor and mentee can complement each other," says Wilkins, "each person drawing on their own personal strengths to meet the needs of the other."

With peer mentoring gaining momentum at Connell, Becky and Elaina are eager to see the practice continue next year. To this end, they plan to invite the fifth, sixth, and seventh graders to a slide-show presentation to introduce the program. They want to not only share what peer mentoring has meant to them but also encourage more students to get involved in the fall.

Although Becky heads to high school in September, the two girls plan to stay in touch. That will be made easier by the fact that Becky will attend Northwest Pennsylvania Collegiate Academy in Erie, joining Elaina’s three older siblings. Elaina wants to be able to check in with her former mentor as she herself steps into that role.

As Elaina puts it, "I want to help others the way Becky has helped me."

Just as a good sister would!