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Mentoring Circle: Putting Young Males on "the Road to Success"
When teacher Robert Melendez asked the 50 boys seated around him how many had a dad at home, two hands went up.
"I wanted to cry at that point," says Mr. Melendez, who teaches fifth grade at P.S. 197, also known as John B. Russwurm School, in Harlem.
"Then I asked them, 'OK, who has a grandfather, uncle, or other male role model?' Four or five hands went up."
That's when the light went on for Mr. Melendez.
P.S. 197 had just launched a Mentoring Circle for its girls. Why not do something similar for the boys?
"So many of these boys have no men to guide them," he says. "This is mentoring where we guide one another. When we meet, we get into a circle and are close to one another, but there is no fighting, no cursing. They are naturally behaving. I tell them, 'Hey, you are capable of being well behaved and tolerant rather than fighting with each other.'"
Mr. Melendez runs the boys' Mentoring Circle, working closely with Toussaint Cummings, another fifth grade teacher at the school. The group meets every Friday, and the impact is clear to the teachers – and to the students themselves.
Fifth grader John Tomlinson offers a telling testimony. "My attitude and my school work have both improved. My grades are now 3's and above. Before they were mostly 2's. I didn't care about my work before. Now I have a purpose.
"Mentoring helped me become a better person," he adds, "because every day when I look in the mirror I know I am me, and I would never want to be someone else. I know that now."
John speaks with clarity and determination, like the lawyer he hopes to become. Like most of the other boys in the circle, John would be the first in his family to attend college.
"The best part of the Mentoring Circle...I like it best when we eat," he says with a smile, then adds, "but sometimes guests come and I like that. Most of the boys in our class have grown up without fathers, so it shows the boys how to become better people.
"I don't have a father. I have a 13-year-old brother and a mom."
John likes to play basketball but, he says, "I know that school work comes first."
That work ethic is something John and his peers are hoping to instill in other students. During the week, the boys visit the kindergarten to read with the children there. Already they are becoming positive role models for these young learners.
For John, and his peers, this is the essence of the Mentoring Circle.
"The Mentoring Circle teaches students how to get along and how to interact and work with other people," he says. "We help keep them on the right track and get their education."
The Mentoring Circle also gives young males in the special education classes, who are often isolated, the opportunity to engage as equals. It's unspoken, but clearly understood by each member: "Your words are as important as mine."
CFES Director of Mentoring Missy Wilkins, who recently visited P.S. 197, notes that about 25 percent of CFES schools have gender-based mentoring programs.
"A strong bond forms in single-gender mentoring programs – not just between mentor and mentee but across the entire group," she states. "CFES teams report remarkable gains, personal and academic, and that's encouraging other schools to adapt this mentoring model."
Mr. Melendez is moved by what he has witnessed over the past few months. "It touches my heart that it is working as well as it is," he says. "The respect I have from all the boys because of the Mentoring Circle amazes me. Whenever I walk down the hall, they stop me to ask when we are next meeting."
And to Mr. Melendez. He is committed to giving these boys a leg up, helping them see that they can make a difference in the world.
"The Mentoring Circle is giving the boys an identity as men," he points out. "It is a positive identity rather than the negative one that they are used to receiving from the outside world."
Mr. Melendez knows that part of fostering a positive identity among these young males is teaching them manners, and that's a topic they have been exploring in their group discussions.
"We've been looking at behaviors and manners by discussing how boys act who are on 'the road to success' versus 'the road to nowhere,' or the one in the middle, which is 'the road in between.' It has generated some valuable conversations.
"We are having a luncheon in the next few weeks," he adds. "These boys will be tying ties and learning about manners."
The girls will have one as well.
Members of both the boys' and girls' Mentoring Circles also are learning that the road to success goes directly through college, and they have had several on-campus experiences this year that have raised aspirations and awareness. This spring they visited nearby City College and, in what was for most their first journey beyond New York's five boroughs, traveled to New Haven, CT and Philadelphia, PA to explore Yale and Temple, respectively.
The trips made a deep impression on the youngsters. Back in their classrooms, they compared and contrasted all aspects of the different colleges, from the reception they received on campus to the varying styles of architecture. They even commented on the quality of the lawns!
Marveling at the storied past of these institutions, the boys and girls began to wonder about their own school. Why wasn't more of the school's history celebrated today? Who was this John B. Russwurm their school was named after and why?
Like a lot of the things they talk about in their Mentoring Circles, none of these questions crossed their minds until now.
"This is the initial year," says Mr. Melendez. "I wasn't sure what was going to happen, but I had to get [the boys' Mentoring Circle] going. It was a major project and I wanted to make sure that we did it right."
Right down to the cupcakes that Mr. Melendez regularly bakes for his group. In fact, he says, most times "the boys are so engaged in what we are doing that they never ask about the food."
That's OK with Mr. Melendez. After all, it's not about the food. "They love the comfort," he says.
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